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Meltham v Broad Oak (Sykes Cup)



Weather Conditions – All weather conditions were seen throughout the 3 days

Match Report

Si lost the toss and Broad Oak elected to bat. MCC struck early, Muddy getting ex-Yorkshire Roebuck to chip a simple catch to GSK who despite his best efforts to drop it, managed to hold on. In came the dangerous Henry Cooper, who along with captain Baxter steadied the ship and took Broad Oak to 60-1 from 18. At drinks they had moved on to 77-1, Amir then had Baxter caught and bowled for 46 which brought Harry Franklin to the crease. Franklin soon departed for 20 before SamLad put some quick glove work to use to dislodge the bails and have the batsmen adjudged stumped. After Harvey Booth was bowled by Muddy for 3, Hargraves came in and scored a quick fire 41 including some switch hits over Dathan’s roof. GSK then dismissed Cooper for 82, H Wise taking an excellent diving catch at deep square leg and Broad Oak finished on 220-6 off their 50 overs.

The rain came down, and play was suspended for the day. Play was resumed on Tuesday night, with chief match reporter, H Wise, spending the first hour and half of the game in a sweaty kitchen scrubbing pots. When I had returned MCC were 101-2 with 20 overs remaining. This was due to a great opening partnership between veteran D Hinch (64) and young SamLad (34) which set the foundations for what was to come. Amir (0), Wee Davey (8) and Jack Moo (4) soon departed to leave MCC on 149-5 with 11 overs remaining. After a quick fire 18 from Muddy and 5 from Ibby, Kash and Simeon were left at the crease set with the task of scoring 61 runs in 6.2 overs. This was lead by Kashif who scored a classy 53* despatching the bowlers to all parts of Dathan’s car park. His big hitting left the scores level with 1 over remaining and Simeon creamed a four through point to take MCC to the Sykes cup semi-final and provide the latest cup upset of the round.

Player Ratings

D Hinch – Got the innings off to a good start, despite being hit on the arm a number of times. Entertained the changing rooms with some dance moves that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Tokyo’s. 10/10

SamLad – Also helped to lay the foundations for the chase. Looked sharp behind the sticks taking one stumping and preventing any byes. 10/10

Amir – Arguably the best bowler, helping to restrict the Broad Oak batsman. Was unlucky with the bat.  10/10

Wee Daveh – Called up to the squad to the delight of the changing room. Gazelle-like in the field preventing atleast 3 fours, and chipped in with the bat. Showed the fielders who was boss with a typical Dave-like response to some poor chirp.  10/10

Muddy – Another good spell with the ball and helped to kick on the run rate with the bat. 10/10

Jack Moo – Kept team morale high with some loud vocals in the field. Took a few quick singles to keep the momentum going. 10/10

Ibby – Bowling much improved from Saturday. Not sure what to say about the batting. 10/10

Kash – Bowled well to keep the pressure on. Extraordinary performance with the bat that led the team to victory. Hero. 10/10

Simeon – Didn’t have much to do in the field but stepped up to the plate with the bat to hit the winning runs. Great captain’s performance. 10/10

GSK – Opened the bowling with some venom and had the batters in tatters. Took 2 good catches in the field under pressure. 10/10

H Wise – Showed great dedication to leave work early and motivate the team to victory. Took an excellent catch to dismiss the dangerous Cooper. Also provided the tunes which went down well with his teammates, especially Daz. 10/10

Tea Rating

Excellent tea that was to be expected with the 2 best tea ladies in the league on duty. 8/10

Ground Rating

‘Deck was awful on Sunday with the outfield looking lengthy. By Tuesday the outfield had shortened dramatically and the wicket had been transformed into a road.’ – These were the claims of the defeated team which left the groundsman bewildered.  10/10

Match Report written by H Wise.


Meltham v Lascelles Hall



Weather Conditions – Sticky

Match Report

Simeon lost the toss and Lascelles Hall elected to bat. School boy. Muddy struck early, removing their opening batter before GSK came to the party, returning from his week at a warm weather training camp. He continued his excellent spell, terrorising the Lascelles Hall batters to finish with figures of 3-15 off his 7 overs. At the other end Muddy continued to blitz through the batters, capitalising on some poor shots outside off stick, he ended with a five-fer in an excellent spell. This lead to the home team crumbling to 43-9 before a small fightback, mainly against the bowling of Kash, as they moved on to 73-9 before Ibby removed the last batter to finish off a strong bowling performance, bowling the home team out for 73 off 27.4 overs.

After tea, Meltham came out looking to end the game as quickly as possible and get back to watch CBird’s second team. The assault was lead by SamLad who looked in good nick, despatching the ball to all parts of the field. Daz was given out to a LBW decision that surprisingly the batter didn’t agree with, this brought Ibby to the crease who batted in typical Ibby style to keep the score ticking. SamLad departed for a flash 44, although the 5 Meltham spectators were disappointed he didn’t reach his fifty. This left MCC needing just 5 runs for victory and Amir and Ibby ensured they reached the total without any further difficulty.

Overall, a comfortable well deserved victory that shows the talent in the team and what can be achieved with a bit of consistency.

Player Ratings

D Hinch – Played the game despite having the use of only one arm. Took a simple catch at gully, and dished out towels to the delight of the changing room. 8/10

SamLad – Stunning batting performance, however bottled the 50. Took 3 catches behind the sticks however will be disappointed with the number of byes. 8/10

Ibby – Took the final wicket. Ensured we took all 6 points with his batting.  7/10

Amir – Hit the winning runs to finish 4 not out. Got down well in the field to save a couple of 4’s. 7/10

Muddy – Unbelievable spell with the ball to finish with 5 wickets. Wasn’t required to bat. 9/10

Moo Joo – Nothing to do all game but produced some good vocals in the field to keep the team going. 7/10

Abdul – Very quiet game and slipped when he could’ve taken a catch. 5/10

Kash –Wasn’t required to bat but took a catch. Bowling was below his usual standards. 6/10

GSK – Best bowling performance of the season to take 3 wickets. Fairly loud in the field but wasn’t required to bat. 8/10

H Wise – DNB. Dropped a catch that he would have expected to take. Otherwise sound in the field and produced good noise in the field. 5/10

Simeon – DNB. Dropped a catch for the second game running which caused his teammates to question whether he had too much Sangria in his system. 5/10

Tea Rating

Average tea but had melon and chicken legs which were a fan favourite. 7/10

Ground Rating

Hard deck which the Lascelles Hall batters failed to capitalise on. Outfield was fast and decent for sliding.  7/10

Match Report written by H Wise.


Meltham v Kirkheaton



Weather Conditions – Tropical rainforest weather

Match Report

Firstly we would like to apologise to the avid readership for last week’s abysmal match report and we can confirm that it shall not happen again as SamLad and Moo will be kept well away from the laptop.

In what could be Simeon’s last game for a number of weeks, he won the toss and inserted Kirkheaton on a green looking wicket. Meltham struck early, GSK with some electric fielding to run out the opening batter in just the 3rd over. G then got a deserved first wicket of the season which was long overdue, as the batter nicked one to SamLad behind the sticks. Muddy then got in on the act, bowling a helpless batter, leaving Kirkheaton 12-3 and Meltham’s spirits high as the skies darkened. The rain then came and the players left the field. After the restart, Meltham were flat and Yetton moved on to 60-3. 3 quick wickets fell and the batting side crumbled to 65-6. A small fightback was then led by Kirkheaton’s Aussie who finished unbeaten on 49, before they were bowled out for 122 off 44 overs.

Meltham’s innings didn’t get off to a good start with Sam departing to a loose shot for 4, making a 50mph dibbler look 150mph. MCC collapsed to 33-4 off 16 overs and at drinks were 62-5 off 25. Ibby and Middy helped to restore the innings and reach 90-5 of 33. Middy then departed for 20 odd and was soon followed by Ibster to leave Kash and GSK at the crease hoping to finish the job. They finished it without any problems with 9 overs to spare to give the Dragons a hard fought but deserved 6 points.

Player Ratings

The Silver Fox – Showed some immaculate footwork in the field on cup final day, also got a few bites from the batters with some witty comments. Grafted with the bat. 8/10

SamLad – Poor batting performance and electric behind the sticks. Took 2 catches and 2 stumpings as the batters were looking for 3. 7/10

Moo – Good vocals in the field but didn’t have a lot to do. Back to his usual ways with the bat scoring 0.  5/10

Amir – Took a good catch in the deep and turned his arm over at the end. Tried to hit every ball out of the park with the bat which didn’t come off. Rumour has it he fell asleep in his car, which will be a hefty fine next week. 6/10

Muddy – Bowled well once again, and helped to rebuild the innings with the bat. 7/10

Ibby – Back to his old ways with some burgaled wickets. Good performance with the bat. 7/10

Abdul – Carried on his good batting form with another attacking performance. Nothing to do in the field. 8/10

Kash – Bowled well and helped to lead the team home however due to giving the match reporters some abuse he scores a 3/10

GSK – Unreal performance in the field saving atleast 20 runs, picked up his first wicket of the season in his best bowling spell. Hit the winning runs. Hero. 10/10

H Wise – DNB. Lightning in the field also saving 20 runs. Good vocals in the field to keep the team going. 10/10

Simeon – DNB. Dropped a gobber at first slip to lose his self-acclaimed title of best fielder in the team. 6/10

Tea Rating

Small but different spread with some great deserts on offer. 7/10

Ground Rating

Very slow outfield but brought the best out of the acrobats. Wicket looked green but played better than it looked. 6/10

Match Report written by H Wise and GSK.


Meltham v Thongsbridge (Sykes Cup)



Weather Conditions – Fair to good

Match Report

Thongsbridge called wrong to bring Simeon is back to his winning ways with the toss and yet again he chose to bat first. Thongsbridge kept it tight early on in the innings to leave Meltham on just 53 for 3 at drinks. Amir departed next for a well-earned 24 to bring a board like Muddy to the crease who looked to be struggling and eventually departed for 7. Ibby also never looked in yet still managed a vital 23. Then it was the turn of Van-der-Kash and Abdul who began to show the value of having wickets in hand until the final 15 overs. Meltham were on 98 after 35 overs and finished on 234. Abdul got a steady 63 from 57 deliveries while kashy got his 50 in just 28 balls which was welcomed by Meltham faithful Eddie Marsh after complaining about the steady run rate earlier in the innings.

After tea, it was a perfect start for Meltham as B Raven-Hill ran his partner R Marshall out on the first ball of the innings to send the latter back to the pond with gazelle-esque fielding from Jack Moo. Thongsbridge were struggling to put partnerships together as wickets were falling all around. Some resilience came from Ro Randhawa but he was dismissed for a decent 38, caressing one into the hands of Ami at gully. The innings then failed to take off with wickets from Muddy, Bijili, Kashi and Daz which saw bridge crumble to a less than competing score of 111. Highlights were Phillip Schofield and the big rig Simeon taking a couple of blinders at slip and gully; great to see some class from both ends of the age spectrum in the field. Maybe it was the rhythmic dancing of Daz Hench or the rum-infused trifle that got everyone going before stepping on the field but the former will certainly be making many more appearances in the MCG changings rooms.

A much improved performance from Meltham as catches stuck and overall moral in the camp was much better.

Player Ratings

Deadly Daz – On for his third 50 on the bounce but failed to come up with the goods took a good catch in the slips and everyone enjoyed it when he followed the Zimbabwe international down the track after adbul took a good catch at mid-off.  Comedic value was rated by all. 8/10

SamLad – Another opener who failed to capitalise on yesterday’s 500+ wicket when he chopped on to his own stumps. Only ‘1’ by and just 1 catch to take behind the wicks today for SamLad but kept the Meltham going with good vocals as usual. 6/10

Moo – Following in the trend of the opening pair and still failing to find form since his arrival back on English soil was bowled for 14 with a ball that jagged back roughly 3 yards to hit the top of off-stump. Was the deliverer of a diamond duck with some sharp fielding at backward point and was loud in the field as usual.  7/10

Amir – looked like he is returning to his former self with both the bat and in the field. 7/10

Muddy – Bowled well once again and took 3 wickets, looked to struggle with the bat. 7/10

Ibby – Bowling was much improved from yesterday. Although we are not sure how he did it he managed to bamboozle some batters with the Tokyo drifters. Average performance with the bat. 8/10

Abdul – good to see boom boom abdul is back amongst the runs with a magnificent 63*. Did well in the field with a good a catch at mid off. 9/10

Kash – Also good to see boom boom Kash is back with his first 50 off the year coming off just 28 deliveries. Bowled well taking 2 wickets for just 13 runs in his 8 overs. 5/10

Si – Took a more subdued role in the field today, managing to not blow his top once. Took an absolute scorcher at second grab and I’m sure the big man will still be thinking about it when he goes to sleep tonight.  10/10

G – DNB. Bowled absolute garbage with figures of 24 from 3 with no wicks. Did what was needed in the field. 3/10

H Wise – DNB. Wil fail to have a career as a juggler as he flapped at one at 3rd slip after having at least half a dozen grabs at it. Like a fieldmouse in terms of vocals and sloth-like in the field. 1/10

Tea Rating

Good spread that included some spicy pasta and alcohol-free trifle. 8/10

Ground Rating

Fast outfield but again was poor for diving. Batting track yet again with nearly 350 runs scored on it. 8/10

Match Report written by Jack Moo and SamLad.


Meltham v Rastrick



Weather Conditions – Deceptively cold

Match Report

For a change Meltham lost the toss and had to bowl for the first time this season. MCC got off to a flying start taking a wicket in the first over, Muddy removing opener Smith for a golden. In came their overseas and got an early life as SamLad didn’t fancy a catch that between him and first slip to leave GSK cursing his luck. Verbals were then exchanged between ‘The Mudster’ and him before Muddy had him caught a first slip. The batter didn’t take very kindly to being given the directions to the changing rooms and launched a vicsous attack on our star bowler. In came the rest of the MCC squad with Simeon leading the charge, giving the batter a taste of his own medicine. After things died down Rastrick’s opener did his best to send the packed crowd to sleep reaching his 50 off 109 balls, despite huge appeals from Meltham when SamLad took a catch following a loud woody noise. The controversy continued after numerous appeals against Birkhead as the MCC players believed that Sam had taken another great catch, intercepting the ball as it was travelling to first slip. GSK then thought he had his first wicket of the season as Kashif took a low catch at cover that the square leg umpire confirmed had carried before he was overruled by the standing umpire and the batter was given not out. Through all the controversy the 2 batters put on a partnership of 186 with Birkhead bringing up a good 100 off 87 balls. The Rastrick batters then started to throw their bat at it before finishing on 271-5. Despite being felt hard done to, Meltham could also look at themselves after a number of catches were dropped especially 2 easy ones by Kash and Amir.

After tea, Daz and Sam came out and got the innings off to a blistering start racing to 40 off just 5 overs. The partnerhip reached 96 off 20 overs before Clegg departed after a sloppy shot for a good 43, Daz continued and shortly brought up his second 50 in 2 weeks before departing to another controversial decision for a majestic 60. Jack Moo was then run out for 7,Amir caught at slip for 8 and Ibby out for a duck to leave MCC 144-5 off 29 overs. Muddy batted well before he was run out 43 after Hamid had departed for 13. Kash provided a bit of hope before being caught behind for 24 and Simeon departed for 4 to leave GSK and H Wise at the crease needing 50 off just 4 overs. Wise was then bowled for a golden and received a pointless send off with some horrendous banter to leave MCC bowled out for 222.

A controversial game that could have gone either way, however dropped catches didn’t help and there were even a few handbags thrown after the game.

Player Ratings

Daz Hinch – Batted well to score a good 60 and get the innings off to an excellent start. Didn’t do anything wrong in the field but struggled with his lack of mobility.  8/10

SamLad – Best batting performance of the season, looking in good nick before a loose shot saw him trailing back to the clubhouse. Took 3 good catches behind the stumps, although only one was given but refused an early one. 7/10

Moo – Very quiet in the field as were most of the MCC players, but made a slight improvement in his batting performance by gaining 7 more runs than last week.  6/10

Amir – Expensive bowling figures of 0-50 off 5 overs and dropped a dolly in the field. Showed glimmers of his old self with the bat but couldn’t deliver. 5/10

Muddy – Bowled well and didn’t let the verbals or handbags get to his head. Batted well for 43 despite his hammy hampering his running. 7/10

Ibby – Bowling was not up to his usual standards with figures of 2-54 off 8 overs. Scored a duck with the bat. Dissapointing. 5/10

Abdul – Quiet day at the office with an unmemorable performance. 5/10

Kash – Another person who dropped a dolly and finished with 1-66 off 15 overs. Showed some promise bat before departing for 24. 6/10

Si – Was in the mood for a good boxing match with anyone who wanted it. Received a warning for some abusive language when talking to his own son. Promoted himself with the bat which didn’t quite pay off. Some say he is still looking for his head. 6/10

G – Had a mare in the field, dropping a catch but redeemed himself with a catch and some decent bowling despite splitting his gondolas (boots). Looked solid with the bat to finish 1*. 10/10

H Wise – Not a lot to do in the field but put his body on the line to save a 4. Got a golden but wasn’t intimidated by the Aussie’s actions. 10/10

Tea Rating

Decent spread but we’re not all Veggies. Hoping for more of a sausage fest next week. 7/10

Ground Rating

Fast outfield but was poor for diving. Definite batting track with almost 500 runs scored on it. 8/10

Match Report written by H Wise and GSK.


Meltham v Slaithwaite



Weather Conditions – Sunny with Saharan ash cloud. Must have been warm as Daz’s arms were on show.

Match Report

Meltham again won the toss and elected to bat. 5 minutes before the start, Meltham were still awaiting SamLad after he forgot the scorebook, he arrived in time and took to the crease with Daz. They got off to a good start, racing to 41-0 off 9 overs, after young Clegg’s dismissal for a well earned 17 Ibby came to the crease and Daz quickly brought up Meltham’s first fifty of the season. He and Ibby both soon departed before Amir and Muddy steadied the ship, although the run rate slowed drastically. Disaster then struck as Muddy pulled up sharply feeling his hamstring looking for a quick single, this caused the MCC players to fear for the worst as their star bowler looked like playing no further part in the game. He battled on with the aid of his runner Ibby before wickets started to tumble. When Simeon skied a short ball to depart for 11 Meltham were bowled out for 184 with an over to spare.

After a better than expected tea, Slawit’s openers came out all guns blazing, trying to intimidate the young GSK and the silver fox. The ball whistled past the bat many times before a top edge off the bowling of G found itself circling above Ibby. The crowd breathed a sigh of relief as the skeletor let it slip through his fingers in a costly drop, as he went one to get his 50. Ibby eventually made the breakthrough and Meltham hopes were raised when he quickly got another to leave Slawit 2 down at drinks. However, these hopes didn’t materialise and despite 2 more wickets Slawit cruised to a 6 wicket victory in the rain.

Meltham must bounce back next week with an improved all round performance.

Player Ratings

Daz Hinch – Batted well to score a good 50 and get the innings off to a good start. Also chucked up some absolute jaffers that left the batters in tatters and was unlucky not to get a wicket.  8/10

SamLad –.Looked in good nick before edging one that he should have gone forward to. Not a lot to do behind the sticks. Improvement. 7/10

Ibby – After his promotion to number 3, he disappointed with the bat.  Dropped a potentially game changing catch but earnt himself 3 wickets with some typical Ibby-like bowling. 7/10

Amir – Lacked confidence early on in his innings but battled on to get 30+. Turned his arm over to highlight MCC’s strength in depth. 6/10

Muddy – After what looked like a potentially promising innings, ‘Mudster’ pulled up feeling his hammy meaning he was unable to bowl, much to the dismay of the MCC’s travelling support. 4/10

Jack Moo – After returning from his spell in NZ, it looked like he was still in their time zone as he failed to connect with any shots and departed for a duck. Enthusiastic in the field, looking keen to redeem himself for his absence. The way he went round dropping stinkbombs left a more than sour taste in our mouths and didn’t help his rating. Head still on the beach. 3/10

Abdul – Quiet day at the office with an unmemorable performance. 5/10

Van Der Kash – Another disappointing performer with the bat, and his bowling was mediocre compared to his usual high standards. 6/10

G-S-K – Lacking confidence and form with the bat as he was sent quacking to the pond. Spirits remained high despite the fact that his bowling was edged into every corner of the field. Still awaiting for his first wicket of the season which will be the start of many. 10/10

H Wise – Another solid performance with the bat to prove he is the best number 10 in the league with yet another red inker. Unlucky in the field after leaping like a salmon, however was unfortunate to only get his finger tips to the ball. Standard. 10/10

Simeon – Added some much needed runs at the end of the innings in typical fashion. Went down like a wardrobe to take a sharp catch at first slip and leave the ground shaking. 8/10

Tea Rating

Strong spread including chicken dippers which are always a fan favourite. 7/10

Ground Rating

Dry outfield meant that the acrobats were left undecided on the standard of the pitch as quality for diving varied. Decent wicket. 6/10

Match Report written by H Wise and GSK.


    Meltham v Elland


Weather Conditions – Wet, windy, cold and very miserable

Match Report

On a day when cricket shouldn’t have been played, Meltham won the toss and chose to bat once again. SamLad and Daz went out to bat in the wintery conditions on the first day of May. When Daz ‘kitkat fingers’ retired hurt after being struck on the Hand, Meltham quickly fell to 49-4 despite SamLad’s luck with the fielders refusing to catch one of his skied edges. Poodle struck a quick 25, before departing and when GSK was caught at square leg Meltham found themselves 91-7 off 28 overs. This brought the return of Daz and he and Wise Henry put on a partnership of 90 to help gain a respectable score of 183-9

After tea, Elland’s openers came out all guns blazing much to the annoyance of Muddy who exchanged some foreign verbals with their opening batter, Matlub. They made their way to 83 without loss off just 13 overs before the skeletor struck with one of his non-spinning specials. This was the start of a collapse which left Elland 113-8 off 26. Finn and Senior led a small fightback before Finn departed for 38 and Elland were eventually bowled out for 172 giving the dragons a hard fought 11 run victory to maintain their 100% winning start to the season.

Player Ratings

Daz Hinch – Battled on after losing the use of most his fingers to help earn Meltham a defendable score. Also took a catch which started the domino effect. True Warrior. 8/10

SamLad – One of the ugliest opening batting performances ever seen to man. Took one catch behind the sticks but spawned a difficult opportunity. 6/10

Amir – After being dismissed for a golden, he needed to redeem himself and he did so with a good spell of bowling earning himself 1 wicket aswell as a trademark catch. 6/10

Ibby – After a disappointing 1 with the bat, he took 4-33 off his 10 overs to lead the turn around. 7/10

Muddy –After another hard fought batting performance, we saw the dark side of his game when exchanging heated words early on in Elland’s innings. Didn’t hit the heights of his earlier performances with the ball but still finished with 2-46. 6/10

Poodle – Batted well to post a score of 25 and took a catch under pressure. However, also dropped a catch that could have been game changing. 6/10

Kash – After a below par batting performance he bowled superbly with figures of 3-14 of his 10 overs. 7/10

GSK – Batting left a lot to be desired, but made up for it with his excellent second spell with the ball and some outstanding fielding, putting his body on the line for the team. 10/10

H Wise – Unbelievable performance with the bat to post a new PB of 47 that kept Meltham in the tie. Picked up a large fine as he was dismissed in comical fashion to bottle the 50. 10/10

Manuel –His late call up proves that MCC does infact run through his blood and posted 2* with bat. Didn’t have much to do in the field. 7/10

Smitty – Another one who stepped up required but had a quiet day at the office with nothing much to do. 7/10

Tea Rating

Typically good Meltham tea which highlighted the strength in depth in tea ladies at the club. 8/10

Ground Rating

Not much change from Saturday but the extra drizzle made the outfield simply stunning for sliding. 7/10

Match Report written by H Wise and GSK.


                   Meltham v Thongsbridge


Weather Conditions – Wet, windy and cold with the occasional spot of sun

Match Report

Meltham won the toss and elected to bat. After another shaky start, we found ourselves 74-4 at the non-existent drinks. We made our way to 113-8 off 30 before H Wise joined Muddy at the crease, Muddy soon departed for a hard fought 25. This brought Simeon to the crease and number 10 and 11 hit some valuable runs to finish the innings on 145-9 off the 40 overs. Kenners added some entertainment to the innings hitting 2 sixes to finish on 15* whilst Wise Henry finished with a solid 10*.

Thongsbridge’s innings didn’t start well, with Muddy taking a wicket in the first over. This trend continued as they fell to 48-6 with Muddy taking 5 of the 6, and after a small fightback they were bowled out for 79.

This meant the Dragons took all 6 points in a deserved victory and continued their 100% winning start to the season.

Player Ratings

Daz Hinch – Scored a disappointing 4 but managed to break his own record and fit 8 layers on. His mind games led to the dismissal of T Raven Hill, much to the delight of the sell-out crowd. 6/10

SamLad – Top scored with the bat to post a majestic 34. Took 3 catches behind the sticks but dropped an absolute gobber. Much improved. 10/10

Amir – Got off to an explosive start before departing for 14. Took 2 good catches at short cover. Influential. 6/10

Ibby – Without the use of the 3rd umpire due to illness, he was given out controversially for 14. Took 3-29 off his 9.4 overs in a typical Ibby bowling performance. 7/10

Muddy – Another scintillating performance with the ball to finish with figures of 5-14 off his 12 overs. Also dug in well with the bat. 8/10

Poodle – Improved with the bat before departing to a half shot for 20. Didn’t have much to do in the field but did all that was asked of him. 6/10

Kash – A disappointing game all round. Was sent to the pond off a juicy full toss and finished with figures of 1-35 from 8 overs. 5/10

Abdul –A poor performance with the bat resulting in him joining Kash in the pond. Didn’t have much to do in the field. 5/10

GSK – Woeful, slug-like performance with the bat. Also misjudged a catch to see his jaw rocked, some say he is still shook. 1/10

H Wise – Another stunning batting performance adding valuable runs to finish on 10*. Also took a stunning catch diving backwards which will be a contender for catch of the season. 10/10

Simeon – Produced some fire power at the end of the innings to continue his excellent comeback. Brought a spinning ball down with his chest to take a clinical catch. 8/10

Tea Rating

Much improved tea from last week which provided some much needed warmth on a cold spring day. The reduction in price meant it was great value for money. 8/10

Ground Rating

After a week of snow, hail, sun and everything in between, the wicket was better than expected. Outfield was also perfect for sliding. 7/10

Match Report written by H Wise and SamLad


Meltham v Holmfirth


Weather Conditions – Overcast and cold

Match Report

Meltham lost the toss and were put in to bat by Holmfirth. After a shaky start, we found ourselves 96-6 at drinks. We made our way to 110-8 off 31 before GSK and H Wise led the fightback with two resilient innings of 18 and 11 respectively. After the departure of GSK to an uncharacteristic loose shot, the burden of finishing the Meltham innings was left on the shoulders of a returning veteran, Simeon, and young Wise Henry. They battled on to post a respectable and defendable score of 160 all out, Simeon finishing unbeaten on 2*.

After a disappointing tea (which we shall come on to later), Holmfirth’s openers came out confidently with GSK taking the brunt, they raced on to 32-0 off 4 overs before Mudasar (Muddy) Butt and Muhammad Kashif (Kash) turned on the magic. The pair took all 10 wickets, Kash with 6 and Muddy with 4, to leave Holmfirth all out for below 100.

This meant the visitors took all 6 points in a deserved victory.

Player Ratings

Daz Hinch – Got the innings off to a typically good start before departing for 21. Didn’t have much to do in the field but had difficulty unclothing himself with his 33 layers. 7/10

SamLad – Batting started promisingly but threw his wicket away with a typical SamLad shot. Not much to do behind the sticks but took the one opportunity that came his way. 5/10

Amir – Batting was below his usual high standards and had nothing to do in the field. Quiet day at the office. 5/10

Ibby – High scoring with the bat, the skeletor showed his worth also taking a high catch under pressure. Nothing has changed. 7/10

Muddy – The mysterious debutant shone with the ball taking 4 wickets, however batting could do with some work. Strong start to his MCC career. 7/10

Poodle – Let himself down with the bat after spurning the opportunity to spend time at the crease by knobbing a full toss to mid on. Worked hard in the field but failed to impress with his diving much to the disappointment of GSK. Lucky to escape fine for buying liquorice. 5/10

Kash – The star of the show as his 6 fer meant that MCC came home with the points. However disappointed with the bat and dived over a four much to the annoyance of GSK. 8/10

Abdul – Another player who had a quiet day at the office with little to do in the field and a reasonable batting performance. Luckily fines weren’t in place for todays game or else he would have received one for playing in his roadman nike cap. 6/10

GSK – Stunning performance with the bat helping to rebuild the innings. Bowling figures don’t show true reflection as he was let down by a number of misfields. 10/10

H Wise – Gruelling batting performance posting a first team PB of 11. Was gazelle like in the field but throwing could do with some work. 10/10

Simeon – Dogged batting display showing no signs of any cobwebs. Also rolled back the years (literally) with an elegant diving catch, going down like a sack of potatoes. 7/10

Tea Rating

Poor spread with little selection meaning it wasn’t value for the £4. Overpriced. 4/10

Ground Rating

In the circumstances, the soft, slow wicket can be forgiven. However, the soggy outfield was unpleasant for diving, meaning the acrobats in the team couldn’t show off their talents. 5/10


With fines set to be introduced next week, all round performances should improve.

Match Report written by H Wise and GSK


14/6/2014: Meltham CC vs Holmfirth CC (Drakes Premiership)

Holmfirth 287-5 (S Rashid 105, S Denton 74, J Gamble 71; I Hussain 3-51) 
*Meltham 199-6 (A Hamid 71, D Hinchliffe 49, A Clegg 33, C Earnshaw 31no; J Gamble 3-37) 
Holmfirth 5 points, Meltham 0 points.

7/6/2014: Hoylandswaine CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

Hoylandswaine v Meltham 
No play (rain) 
Hoylandswaine 2 points, Meltham 2 points.

31/5/2014: Meltham CC vs Honley CC (Drakes Premiership)

*Meltham 89 (C Earnshaw 27; R Howarth 5-14) 
Honley 90-1 (S Kelly 58no, R Jakeman 26) 
Meltham 0 points, Honley 6 points. 

26/5/2014: Elland CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

*Elland 123-6 (G Finn 39no) 
Meltham 124-8 (D Hinchliffe 29) 
Elland 0 points, Meltham 5 points.

-10 points to the reporter who made the school boy error of writing a fluent and informative report only to forget to save it and lose it. Basically wicket was bad, 5th wicket partnership was boring (no names mentioned), Meltham were shakey and Britney can reverse sweep better than he can get directions to the barbers.

24/5/2014: Meltham CC vs Delph & Dobcross CC (Drakes Premiership)

Meltham v Delph & Dobcross 
No play rain 
Meltham 2 points, Delph & Dobcross 2 points.

17/5/2014: Shelley CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

Meltham 154 (A Clegg 43, V Minhas 35, M Kashif 33; H Yousaf 5-19) 
*Shelley 158-5
 (G Wadsworth 54no, P Winrow 31) 
Shelley 6 points, Meltham 0 points.

After a week of good weather Meltham arrived at a sunny Shelley to be greeted by a positively straw coloured wicket and the prospect of a good days' cricket. Skipper Kenworthy was back from watching Jacob on Songs of Praise and duly elected to bat first, giving the Meltham batsmen a fantastic chance to get some runs under their belts.

As ever, the innings didn't get off to a good start as a combination of poor calling and turning blind saw Daz run out in the first over for just 1. When Hamid followed soon after for a duck the innings was in need of stability and in ginger Earny and the ever more reliable Minhas we had at the crease the perfect two men for the job. The two batters resisted doggedly until Vinny was finally out caught behind off the erratic Sykes with the score at 60ish from 26 overs. Earny followed in the next over after an uncharacteristic swipe across the line to be bowled for 19 which left Clegg senior and Kashif needing to put at least 90 more on the board just for a point. The pair batted well, manipulating the field and running plenty of singles along with the odd boundary to keep the score ticking over. By the time the 44th over came the score was 146-4 and with two well set batters at the crease the charge was on and 190/200 was the target. Kashif was bowled the first bowl of the over for a well constructed 33 and Kenworthy soon followed for just the single. Ibby joined Clegg at the crease with still 4 wickets remaining and wasted no time in running the set batsman out for 43, with the classic 'yes, no, yes, for f**ksake' being the essence of the calling. Attention now turned to securing a point and with 4 overs and 3 solid batters left this appeared to be a formality. However appearances are often decieving and the last 3 of Clegg S, Rawlinson and Wallis all came and went for quick fire blobs to end the innings on 154 in the 49th over. The final 6 wickets were lost in 5 overs and for just 8 runs which is poor in any circumstances and on a good wicket against gentle medium pace bowling was made all the more frustrating.

Clegg partnered Minhas with the new ball as Meltham knew that they would have to take 10 wickets to win the game. The Shelley innings began similarly to Meltham's as opener Mitchell was run out in the 3rd over for just 4 and Meltham had hope. When Minhas tickled the timbers of both Sykes and the dangerous Khiljee for low scores that hope turned to expectation and both opening bowlers continued to cause problems for opener Winrow, whose method of kicking balls away in the line of middle stump is one that should be written into the proverbial textbook as it appears that it is impossible to be given out when doing this no matter how straight the ball seems to be. Vinny finally got his man though as Winrow was removed LBW for 31 which brought skipper Wadsworth to the crease. Shelley's captain showed just what a good wicket it was, batting freely and with confidence to see his side home with just 5 wickets down and 16 overs to spare.

A valiant performance with the ball wasn't enough to hide the fact that the 154 on the board was at least 70 runs below par on a good pitch and a quick outfield. Shelley's two opening bowlers bowling 24 overs for just 45 runs between them highlights the need for an improvement in rotating the strike early on, a slight lack of positive intent cost Meltham the game in the end whilst an absolute lack in concentration and game awareness cost us a point which seemed to be in the bag with 5 overs remaining.

4/5/2014: Barkisland CC vs Meltham CC (Sykes Cup)

Meltham 160
 (V Minhas 42, I Hussain 29; L Brown 3-28, A Scholefield 3-34, C Williams 3-36) 
*Barkisland 161-5 (A Kaye 69, S Oddy 40, D Robinson 32no) 

Barkisland win.

3/5/2014: Barkisland CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

Meltham 93 (M Kashif 28, A Hamid 28; A Scholefield 4-33) 
*Barkisland 94-4 (A Kaye 43no, J Summerscales 25)
Barkisland 6 points, Meltham 0 points.

After the previous weekend's win at Slaithwaite 7 of the Meltham team arrived at Barkisland on time and in good spirits until the news came through that the two Clegg's had broken down on the way over to Boris Island and, worse still, that two men weren't arriving at all due to a combination of poor communication and bad luck as multiple players from both teams were all unavailable for various reasons.

Fortunately, Barkisland skipper Robinson elected to bowl first which at least meant that Meltham's nine men wouldn't be chasing leather for too long come Barkisland's innings. Skipper of the day Daz Hinchliffe and the ginger stalwart Earny (who returned from Barbados looking impressively pale) opened up for Meltham and were both promptly removed by Scholefield for 21 and 6 respectively. Despite small contributions from Hamid and Kashif (both 28) the 9 Melthamers were bowled out for just 93, a total which included 4 ducks.

After tea the Barkisland batsmen played with the freedom that comes with chasing less than 3 figures and took advantage of the open spaces to chase down the 94 runs required to win for the loss of 4 wickets.

27/4/2013: Slaithwaite CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

*Slaithwaite 98 (J Hinchliffe 5-22, V Minhas 3-26) 
Meltham 99-5 (V Minhas 49)

Slaithwaite 0 points, Meltham 6 points.

Meltham arrived at Slaithwaite knowing that a win over last year's Championship champions and fellow promotion winners would be vital in the battle for Premiership survival. There were four changes following the previous day's demolition at the hand's of Skelmanthorpe with Cameron Field and deadly Daz Hinchliffe coming into the side as well as debutants Jack Hinchliffe and Rob Moulson due to Hamid, Storey, Wallis and Britney hyphen Kenworthy hyphen Sykes all being unavailable for one reason or another. Slaithwaite's wicket was a wet one and it was the home side who had first use of it.

With A Clegg, Jon Storey and brains Wallis all out injured the incoming Jack Hinch shared the new ball with Minhas and wasted no time making inroads into the Slawit order as Jones (3) and Holt (1) both went early at the hands of the happiest man in Meltham whose immaculate length extracted a great many demons from the green track. Berry (18), Garside (0), Bryson (0) and Bradley (1) all came and went, leaving Kilner and the overseas Freitag the tricky task of building some sort of substantial innings. The pairing were patient in their approach and were looking comfortable until Freitag inexplicably swung from the hip and was bowled by Minhas for 20 hard earned runs. This brought former cross-jostler Alex Walker to the crease with the score at about 65-7 and the number 9 looked fairly comfortable as he negated Minhas' nagging length and the spin of Kashif for a good few overs before the dogged resistance of Kilner came to end as he was caught by senior Hinchliffe at gully. When Jack Hinchliffe was reintroduced at the 40 over mark and with Walker and Langfield into double figures the game appeared to be drifting slightly away from Meltham, that was until a timely 5th wicket for smiler Hinchliffe removed Langfield for 12 and Walker skied one to C Field at long on from the bowling of Kashif to end the Slawit innnings on 98. At tea the team were reminded that it was only half a job done and a repeat of yesterday's batting performance would most certainly not be enough to chase the score down and earn the first points of the season.

Bebby had his third different opening partner of the season with Daz Hinchliffe joining him at a wicket which looked to have flattened out towards the end of the first innings. Kilner and Freitag took the new ball for the home side and soon removed the Meltham pair of Bebb and Hinchliffe for a combined total of 8 to leave Minhas and Kashif at the crease. The subcontinental pairing survived a fiery spell of bowling from Freitag which left Kashif with a sore nipple and I'm sure some teary eyes as the Slaithwaite non-bowling number 11 proved that he wasn't colour blind in identifying that our number four batsman was wearing an orange helmet, kudos to you sir for that impressive spot. Back to the game and Minhas and Kashif built slowly and steadily before Kashif was bowled by Kilner via an inside edge for 16. A Clegg joined Minhas at the crease at about 50-3 and our Indian import continued to impress as he punished loose balls all the way up until he got out to one, smashing a short one from the spinner Berry straight to the hands of mid-on to be caught out for a very well constructed 49 and just miss out on his collection. When Ibby fell in a similar vein for 9 the game was as good as over with just 5 required to win and Clegg senior and Hinchliffe junior at the crease. Fittingly, it was Hinchliffe who hit the winning run and Meltham chased down Slawit's 98 with 5 wickets and 15 overs to spare.

A fantastic response to the previous day's performance resulted in the first points of the season for the first team and a win which could be crucial come September. Special mention must go to Jack Hinchliffe's 5-fer on debooo as well as Manuel Moulson and C Field, who went home with a brand new pair of whites courtesy of the David Bebb charity for underprivileged gingers. 

26/4/2014: Meltham CC vs Kirkburton CC (Drakes Premiership)

Kirkburton 268-5 (I Latif 132, A Smith 69, J Butterfield 25; M Kashif 4-75) 
*Meltham 82 (I Hussain 26; M Crookes 4-31, U Malvi 3-29)
Meltham 0 points, Kirkburton 6 points.

The first team's first home game of the season was preceded by a week of heavy rain and with new groundsman Martin Wise still away adding to his already stellar tan runs were not to be expected. As it was the home captain Kenworthy won the toss and duly inserted the opposition on a classic Meltham green'n.

Meltham got off to a dream start as Minhas had the double barreled Battye-Wood caught behind by dwarf Clegg as the ball lifted sharply from the damp surface and tickled the glove before sticking in the disproportionately large hands of the ever more reliable 16 year keeper. Jack Wallis shared the new ball and struggled at first to find his rhythm as Smith and last week's double century maker Latif set about building a competitive score. The ball then regained the upper hand as Wallis found his length and the runs quickly dried up, Latif surviving a couple of close LBW appeals and Minhas bowling without luck as the outside edge was beaten on a regular basis. Momentum shifted again when brains gave us a blast from the past as he grimaced through his 5th over and thus left skipper Kenworthy with no choice but to take space cadet out of the attack, much to the dismay of the 19 year old. Wallis' injury led to the introduction of Kashif and the spinner struggled to extract much turn from the green surface, leaving Smith and Latif an opportunity to lift the run rate which they didn't turn down. With the 'burton batsmen now well into their strides runs were flowing and Meltham heads began to drop until a change of ends for Kashif resulted in Smith being caught and bowled for a well constructed and very moist 69 (snigger). Unfortunately the wicket didn't change Latif's mindset and the number 3 continued to bash his way towards a second successive 100 which arrived with about 10 overs to go. Butterfield (25) departed and was shortly followed by Latif, who hit a few more lusty blows to reach 132 before being caught right on the boundary edge off the bowling of Kashif. The Meltham fielding effort then descended into something of a farce with the incoming Crookes making the most of his luck as he was twice caught off Minhas no-balls and once dropped by A Clegg before finally getting hold of one and depositing the last ball of the innings onto the scoreboard, rumour has it that second team scorer and club statto Oliver 'Beef' Clegg felt that ball hit his scorebox all the way from Almondbury Wes, leaving him in a very, very bad mood. All in all it was a poor effort in the field from the home side highlighted by the fact that the 17 extras conceded were the 4th highest scorers and with 9 of those being no-balls the team and supporters alike were left to eat tea with a strong sense of frustration. 269 was the target.

Bebb and Hamid opened up and looked to survive the new ball bite before upping the rate in the way that Smith and Latif did so effectively for the away team. Unfortunately that wasn't to be, Hamid followed up a lofted drive over cover with a lofted drive straight to cover to end his first knock of the season with 4 and Minhas (11) soon followed leaving Bebb and Kashif in the middle. After doggedly seeing off the new ball Bebb targeted the spin of Crooks and, like his fellow opener, went over the top one time too many to be caught rather tamely at mid-on. Clegg senior, playing as a specialist batsman, fell for 0 as a climbing Malvi delivery struck the glove and looped up to Latif at first slip. Ibby arrived at the crease with the score at about 50-4 and watched on as dwarf (1), Kenworthy (4), Storey (0) and Britney (0) all came and went before deciding to have a whack at it. Said whacks resulted in a brisk 25 before Bijali was the last man out leaving Jack Wallis unbeaten at the other end despite leaving the field in the first innings due to a dodgy knee, why he decided to bat is a question us mere mortals will never be able to answer.

The Meltham innings ended in the 31st over and resulted in a 166 run loss. Despite a very impressive individual performance from Latif the home side's display was a marked step backwards from the opening game at Shepley and the players left with their tails between their legs knowing that a vast improvement was needed for the following day against Slaithwaite.

19/4/2014: Shepley CC vs Meltham CC (Drakes Premiership)

*Shepley 265-7 (D Allan 56, J Clarkson 37, J Ardron 37, H Ellis 30no, L Wiles 30; V Minhas 4-73) 
Meltham 207 (V Minhas 54, J Storey 49, M Kashif 45; D Allan 3-42)
Shepley 6 points, Meltham 0 points.

After a long, wet winter the week leading up to the first game of the season was a glorious one as Meltham prepared to play their first Premiership fixture since 2009 away at last year's champions. After the pre-match Examiner photos Simon Kenworthy, who still refuses to buy a new pair of boots, lost the toss and opposition skipper Danny Glover chose to bat first on what was a very good April wicket.

Things didn't start too well for Meltham as A. Clegg conceded 8 runs from the first over, Shepley opener Dan Wood first hitting a glorious drive straight down the ground before punishing a wide long-hop from the 18 year old. Things soon improved, however, with V. Minhas carrying on from where he left off last season by removing 2013 1000 run man Wood and things were looking good as both Minhas and Clegg beat the edges of Clarkson and Allan until Bieber pulled up after 4.2 overs with a pulled fetlock of some sort. Jonny Storey took over from Clegg and was unlucky to have Allan first caught behind off a no ball and then dropped by C. Field who spilled a difficult chance running backwards from mid-on, though one can't help but think he was slowed down by the gaping hole in the crotch area of his whites which Mr Field will tell you was strategically placed to allow quick utilisation of the 'ginger throbber' if required. Back to the game and momentum was beginning to shift to the home side as Allan hit some lusty blows over the clubhouse from the bowling of Jonny Storey, who wasn't feeling his usual self it must be added. Storey then made the breakthrough though, finding the edge of Clarkson (37) to leave Shepley 81-2 at the 20 over stage and give young S Clegg his first Premiership victim. Allan went to reach his 50 before being dismissed by the spin of new signing Muhammad Kashif and the theme of Shepley's innings continued to the 50 over mark with many batsmen getting in but none going on to make a really big score. The home side eventually posted 265-7 from their 50 overs leaving Meltham 266 to win and 198 for the pre-match target of a point. Minhas (4-73) was the pick of the bowlers and was ably supported by Storey (2-95) and Kashif (1-65), though the likes of Ibby Hussain and Jack Wallis were unlucky  not to be given a chance of influencing the Shepley innings.

After a tea which gave our very own Master chef Jayne Sykes a serious run for her money the Meltham innings got underway with the new opening partnership of Bebb and new signing (sea)Gul Hussain. The two openers struggled with the opening bowling of the Glover brothers and were both dismissed by C Glover for just 14 runs between them. This brought Vinny and new signing Kashif together at the crease and both set about rebuilding the Meltham innings as they settled in before attacking the short boundary. Former Holland international Kashif looked the real deal as he dabbed and slog swept his way to 45 before dying by the proverbial sword in getting caught on the boundary from the bowling of D Wood (no not the batter, the other one). Minhas remained however and watched from the other end as both Ibby (5) and oompah loompah (1) both fell and the wheels looked to be falling off the Meltham chase. Jonny Storey then arrived at the crease and the slightly under the weather Lancastrian must have been remembered by young left arm spinner Danny Wood who, after being hit into Dathans multiple times the last time the two met, developed a case of the yips and went on to be dispatched by Storey over the club house as the point once again started to appear gettable. Storey (49) and Kenworthy (12) then departed in quick succession which left Field and the hamstrung Clegg senior with the task of getting the few runs required to secure the point and then hold out for the last few overs. The pairing didn't last long though as Field was out in the 48th over bowled by Allan via his pad and Jack Wallis, who refused to give up his number 11 position to Clegg, arrived and set about the task of finishing 9 down with a few signature leaves and watertight forward defensive shots. The last over came about with Wallis on strike and brains looked assured as he kept out Allan's first two balls. Heartache was to follow though as Gromit was hit plumb in front the very next ball and Meltham were all out for 207 in 49.3 overs to lose the point that they had worked so hard for.

All in all Shepley's superior quality in the field and ability to rotate the strike in the middle overs were the factors between the two sides and the home side's celebrations when they got that last wicket showed how much they had to work for that extra point. The boys definitely have a platform on which to build and the performance against the champions and Sykes Cup runners up certainly bodes well for the rest of the season. Special mention must go to Cameron Field, who when he was running for Clegg with his holed pants and helmet that sat on his ginger meat head rather than around it summed up the word 'village' and gave everyone great entertainment. 

Meltham Cricket Club

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